Essay #9

Simone

English 9

Mr. H. Salsich

November 30

Mending A Man:

An Essay On A Tale Of Two Cities' Sydney Carton

Opening Paragraph:

SD: in TTC, Carton is a portrayed as a depressed man

Comment on Hook: alcoholic who pines away for Lucie, who is married

Comment on Hook: he is a self pitying man who believe that no on cares for him

CS: Carton seems beyond repair, but there might still be hope for him

bell word: pity

First Body Paragraph:

echo words: commiseration, compassion

TS: Sydney Carton is a depressed, drunk man

SD: Carton feels like he is a "useless piece of furniture, tolerated for its old service, and taken no notice of.", but nobody actually thinks that

CM: no one actually dislikes Carton as much as he thinks people do, he is just has so much self commiseration

CM: he is just feeling sorrowful for himself for no reason, because his life isn't actually that bad

SD: he believes that no body likes him because he always put second by Stryver

CM: Stryver "shoulders his way through life" while Carton, who "would never be a lion", trails not far behind

CM put down everyday by Stryer who believes that "[his] way is, and always was, a lame way."

SD: Carton is also depressed because the girl he pines for, Lucie is also loved by Stryver

CM: even though Carton professed his love for her first, Stryver still tries to steel her from Carton

CM: Stryver goes as far as talking to Mr. Lorry about marrying

CS: I think that Stryver is the reason that Carton has so much self compassion and feels as if "[...] no man of earth cares for [him]"

Second Body Paragraph:

bell words: condolence, sorrow

TS: Carton seems beyond repair, drowned in his own self condolence, but I have faith that I could help him through his depression

SD: I would tell him that he cannot dwell on the past

CM: he is still in love with Lucie even though she does not love him back and she is happily married

CM: dwelling on things that happened long ago makes it difficult for him to move forward

SD: I would also tell him that alcohol is not the solution to his pain

CM: drinking bumper after bumper is not good, after making you feel better for a short period of time, it makes you feel even worse

CM: getting drunk every time he encounters a problem is a recipe for disaster

SD: lastly, I would tell him to be rid himself of negative influences, such as Stryver

CM: Stryver is always putting him down and putting him second, he does not feel sorrowful for Carton if he has a problem, nor does he help him through it

CM: you should never tolerate being put second by the people that you put first

CS: by taking my advice, I believe Carton could turn his life around

Concluding Paragraph:

echo word: sympathy

SD: Carton, a depressed alcoholic, could turn his life around

Comment on Hook: he could strip himself of his sympathy by getting over Lucie, and no longer tolerating Stryver's harsh words

Comment on Hook: his life doesn't have to be that way

CS: miserable, intoxicated Carton could have a better life

Simone

English 9

Mr. H. Salsich

December 5

TS In the book A Tale of Two Cities, Sydney Carton is portrayed as a depressed man. SD He is an alcoholic pining only for Lucie, who is happily married to Charles Darnay, Carton's peer. CM He is a self-pitying man who believes that no man cares for him. CS Carton seems beyond repair, but I think there might still be hope for him.

TS Sydney Carton is a pitiful and sorry and sad and depressed drunk (polysyndeton). SD He thinks that he is a "useless piece of furniture, tolerated for its old service, and taken no notice of", but nobody actually thinks that of him. CM No one in the book actually dislikes Carton as much as he surmises (F.A.S.T.), he just has so much self commiseration that he feels like people don't want him around. CM He is just feeling sorrowful for himself for no reason because if he opened his eyes, his life isn't actually that bad. SD He believes that nobody likes him because he is always put second by Stryver. CM Stryver "shoulders his way through life" while Carton, who "would never be a lion", trails not far behind. CM He is put down day after day by damaging (alliteration) Stryer who believes that "[his] way is, and always was, a lame way." SD Sydney is also disconsolate (F.A.S.T) because the girl he pines for, Lucie, is also loved by Stryver. CM Even though Carton professed his passion for her primarily (alliteration), Stryver still tries to steel her from Carton. CM Mr. Stryver even goes to Tellson's, a place of sheer business, a place where the people are prim and the atmosphere is proper, to speak to Mr. Lorry about marrying her. (appositive) CS I believe that Mr. Strvyer, who is supposed to be Carton's friend, is the reason why Sydney feels so much self compassion and feels as if "[...] no man on earth cares for [him]".

TS Carton seems beyond repair, drowned in his own self condolence, but I have faith that I could help him through his depression. SD The first thing I would tell him to do to jump start his journey (alliteration) to convalescence (F.A.S.T) would be that he cannot dwell on the past. CM He is still in love with Lucie even though she does not love him back and she is gaily (F.A.S.T) married. CM Dwelling on things that have come and gone makes it hard for people to move forward. SD I would also tell him that alcohol is not the solution to his problems. CM Drinking bumper after bumper is bad (alliteration), after making you feel better for a short period of time, it makes you feel even worse than when you did when you started drinking. CM Carton just gives up and gets drunk every time he encounters a problem, and that is a recipe for disaster, always giving up, never trying to solve the complication, making his body more tolerant to alcohol, allowing him to drink more and more, as if he were a bottomless pit (coordinate cumulative sentence with a simile) . SD Lastly, I would tell Sydney to be rid himself of negative influences, such as his "friend" Stryver. CM Stryver is always putting him down and putting him second, he does not feel sorrowful for Carton if he has a problem, nor does he help him through it. CM He should never tolerate being put second by the people that he puts first, and he should never tolerate being laughed at and teased and insulted and made fun of. (polysyndeton) CS By taking my advice, I believe Carton could really turn his life around.

TS Carton, a depressed alcoholic, could possibly turn his life around. SD His life doesn't have to be the way it is now. CM He could strip himself of his self-sympathy by getting over Lucie, and no longer tolerating Stryver's harsh words. CS Miserable, intoxicated Carton could have a better life.

SELF-ASSESSMENT:

1) A strong point in my essay is the my second body paragraph. I think that the requirements flowed well within the sentences.

2) I would say a weak point in my essay is my first body paragraph. I think some of the sentences are not coherent with each other.

3) I still need to work on my punctuation and making sure that I do not have comma splices within sentences.

4) I would give myself a B+ on this essay.

Essay #8

Graphic Organizer

Main Point or Thesis of Essay: do not judge a beautiful picture by its cover, everyone and everything have hidden problems
bell word: deceive


Opening Paragraph:

Hook: the world is a beautiful "twinkling star", but every nook and cranny of it has it's own problems
Comment on Hook: even serene, romantic France has its many conflicts
Comment on Hook: "a whole world with all its greatness and littleness" is attractive on the surface, but looks can be deceiving
Thesis: just like the old saying states, "don't judge a book on its cover"

First Body Paragraph

echos: swindle, defraud

TS: "Chateau and hut" the poorest and richest parts of France go hand and hand
SD: but those stone faces guarding the chateaus are swindling because behind those resistant features are "dangling figures"
CM: if one does something wrong, one will be hanged, no discussion, nobody tries to stop it because they know that it is useless
CM: "so, sublimer intelligences may read in the feeble shining of this earth of ours" because of injustices like this that happen behind closed doors
SD: Dickens is saying that behind every defrauding good thing there is a bad thing
CM: the world has "greatness and littleness" but what we choose to do with that is up to us
CM: "a whole province of France - all France itself - lay under the night sky", the good and the bad, the poor and the rich, the deceiving and the truthful, all together as one country
CS: on the smooth surface, France is the home of greatness, but underneath it is just littleness, it is so far underneath the charming surface that only the "sublimer intelligence" can sense it

Second Body Paragraph

echoes: outwit, delude

TS: just as all the "twinkling stars" in this world deal with their own problems, so do I
SD: I am a "twinkling star" just trying to make it in this huge galaxy
CM: I started out dim, but every time I overcome a problem, I get a little brighter
CM: I may look as bright as a star but my shining is sometimes outwitting for I have many problems just like everyone else
SD: I, as a person, definitely have "greatness and littleness"
CM: I have somethings about me that are good, and things that are bad, but I try to keep a deluding front so that no one would know the littleness about me
CM: everyone does and nobodies perfect
CS: Your light may seem dim, but it is getting brighter everyday

Concluding Paragraph

Hook: the world is bright, but there are many things about it that are dim
Comment on Hook: everything in this in this world has its problems, even if that seems impossible
Comment on Hook: every place in the world has its "greatness and littleness" we just need to learn to look past the littleness
Re-Statement of Thesis: no matter what or who you are looking at, you can never judge them without truly knowing what is going on inside them

Simone
Mr. H. Salsich
English 9
November 18

"Greatness and Littleness" In Everyone And Everything:

An Essay About A Tale Of Two Cities And My Life

TS The world is a beautiful "twinkling star", but inside every nook and cranny there is some kind of problem. SD Even serene, romantic France has many conflicts. CM "A whole world with all its greatness and littleness" is attractive on the surface, but looks can be deceiving. CS The same old saying, "don't judge a book by it's cover" applies to France and the "twinkling star" that we call our home.

TS "Chateau and hut", rich and poor, two opposites that strangely go hand in hand in A Tale of Two Cities' France, a beguile place with a shining exterior (appositive). SD Everything looks perfect on the surface, but those stone faces guarding the chateaus are swindling because behind those resistant features are "dangling figures". CM If one does something wrong, one will be hanged, no questions asked, and no one will try to stop it because they know that their poor voices have to significance in their rich government. CM "[...] so, sublimer intelligence may read in the feeble shinging of this earth of ours" because of injustices like extraneous (F.A.S.T) hangings. SD In this paragraph, Dickens is saying that with every defrauding good, attractive, admirable thing in this world, there is a bad, abominable (F.A.S.T), side to it. CM The world and France particularly have "greatness and littleness" that go accordingly with each other, but which we choose to see is up to our perception. CM "A whole province of France - all France itself - lay under the night sky", the good and the bad, the poor and the rich, the deceiving and the truthful, all together as one country. CS On the smooth surface, France is the home to greatness, but underneath it is just littleness, it is so far underneath the charming surface that only "sublimer intelligences" can sense it.

TS Just as all "twinkling stars" deal with their own problems, I deal with great difficulty in my life as well. SD I am a "twinkling star" just trying to make my way in this huge galaxy. CM I started out dim, but every time I overcome a problem, I get a little bit brighter. CM I may look as dazzling (F.A.S.T.) as the North Star, but my shining is sometimes outwitting because I have many problems just like anyone else. SD I, as a person, definitely have "greatness and littleness", shining in some areas, but lacking in others, subsequent (F.A.S.T) at one thing, but failing at another, constantly developing new imperfections and new strengths (coordinate cumulative sentence). CM I have some things about me that are good, and things that are bad, but I try to keep a deluding front so that no one would see the things that cause me to have "littleness". CM The thing that keeps me going though, is the fact that everyone has littleness and I'm not the only one with flaws. CS Today your light may shine softly, but tomorrow it could be more luminous than ever.

TS The world is bright, but there are many dim things about it. SD Everything and everyone in this world has some kind of problem or quarrel, even if that seems impossible. CM Every place in this world has it's "greatness and littleness", we just need to learn to look past the littleness. CS No matter what or who you are looking at, you can never judge the book by it's cover because in most cases, the cover is misleading.

Self-Assessment:

1) An issue that I am still working is weeding in my sentences. I am still trying to take out every unnecessary word.

2) I think a strong point in this essay is concluding paragraph. I think it just wraps up my essay very nicely.

3) A weak point in my essay is my first body paragraph. It was difficult for me to portray what Dickens was trying to say in that paragraph.

4) I would give myself a B+ on this essay.

Essay #7 Final Draft

Graphic Organizer
Novemer 2, 2010


Opening Paragraph:

Hook: everyone wants to achieve peace, but peace is very difficult to achieve
Comment on Hook: everyone wants the unoriginal world peace, end of war
Comment on Hook: no one thinks about the other types of peace there are
Thesis: we must all learn to be at peace with ourselves.

First Body Paragraph



TS: in A Rainy Morning, the woman must be at peace with herself
SD: she is in a wheelchair and she must have learned long ago to accept the fact that she would never walk again and become peaceful with the new her.
CM: if she was not at peace with herself she would be forever cursing whatever put her into the wheelchair, not focusing on what really matters in life
CM: she would be wasting her life away (use appositive)
SD: to play her instrument (wheel chair), the woman must have internal peace.
CM: to stay calm while strumming the wheels and intertwining her fingers in the spokes takes a lot of patience and strength
CM: to "push herself through the morning" the day, and the evening requires peace of mind and peace of body
CS: this young woman peacefully in the rain, has obtained peace within herself because she has realized that you do not need anything extra to be happy

Second Body Paragraph:

TS: in A Tale of Two Cities, each of the characters must be at peace with themselves to face their everyday life
SD: Lucie Manette must have peace to take care of others and never herself (use appositive)
CM: ever since they found Doctor, she has been taking care of him
CM: without peace, Lucie would have a difficult time dealing with her own life let alone her father's too. (talk about suitors)
SD: Mr. Lorry, a man of business, must have mental peace to be able to deal with the stress of Tellson's, and also the stress of going from total business mode to affectionate family man
CM:as soon as Mr. Lorry met the Manettes, he became a part of their family in some sort
CM: he switches between a peaceful quiet man, to an emotional imaginative but still peaceful man
SD: Mr. Carton on the other hand, must have peace to get through every single rough day
CM: he is a depressed alcoholic, and to make it as long as he did in his life, he must of had some sort of peace in his life
CM: without peace he wouldn't be here
CS: their lives are pretty difficult as it is, and not having peace with themselves and each other would make it a lot harder

Closing Paragraph:

Hook: we must all achieve peace with ourselves if we wish to lead a happy, untroubled life
Comment on Hook: to achieve peace we must accept who we are and accept that we cannot ever change who we are
Comment on Hook: to go around and hate yourself and wish you were somebody else will make your life very difficult and unpleasant
Re-statement: everyone must learn to obtain peace with themselves or else we cannot obtain the bigger unoriginal picture of peace


Simone
English 9
Mr. H. Salsich
November 3, 2010
"All I Want Is World Peace":
An Essay About Peace In Various Aspects

TS Everyone wants to achieve peace, but they do not realize how difficult it really is to obtain. SD Everyone wants the conventional world peace and end of war just like the pageant contestants say convincingly to the judges, but no one ever thinks about the other types of peace. CM Everyone misjudges peace as the absence of war and disturbance, or being tranquil and quiet, but if you really wanted to come into the possession of peace, then you would see past that dictionary definition. CS To attain peace, you must have peace in yourself.



TS In the poem "A Rainy Morning" by Ted Kooser, the sentences, the phrases, the words all portray a peaceful young handicapped woman (compound subject sentence). SD Having the obstacle of being in a wheel chair hanging over her head, she must have realized long ago that she had to accept the fact that she might never walk again and become at peace with her transformed self. CM However, if she did not decide to accept her altered body, she would be forever cursing whatever put her into the wheelchair and not focusing on what really matters in life. CM She would be wasting away her life, a thing to cherish and spend wisely, a thing that you can never get back once you've lost it, and never regain the years that you've spent ungrateful. (appositive) SD To play her instrument, the wheelchair, the woman must have internal peace. CM To be able to stay calm while "striking at the wheels" and intertwining her fingers in the spokes takes a lot of patience and strength. CM To "push herself through the morning", the day, and the evening requires peace of mind as well as peace of body. CS This young woman sitting peacefully in her wheelchair observing the rain has obtained peace within herself because she, unlike many people, has realized that you do not need anything extra to live a peaceful life.



TS In A Tale of Two Cities, the main characters' daily lives are so frenetic (F.A.S.T. word) that it seems they would need inner peace just to stay sane. SD For example, Lucie Manette, a "golden-haired doll" with misty blue eyes and creases on her forehead, a girl who thought she had no family, has to have some peace of mind to be able to only think of others and never herself. (appositive) CM Since Lucie found her father in St. Antoine -brought to him by Mr. Lorry after thinking he was dead for so many years - she has had to nurse him back to health without the help of others.(verb appositive) CM Without peace, Lucie would never be able to take care of her father, let alone herself. SD For Mr. Lorry, peace is a necessity so that he can deal with the stress of Tellson's and then the stress of going from businessman to a family man with the Manette's. CM As soon as Mr. Lorry met Lucie, he took on the roll as a protective older brother to her, and with that comes responsibilities. CM Mr. Lorry protects Lucie from harm, always on the watch for rude, offensive, and disrespectful people that would make Lucie upset, like a night guard at a museum. (cumulative sentence with a simile) SD Mr. Carton, on the other hand, must have peace to get through every rough day of his piteous (F.A.S.T. word) life. CM He is a depressed alcoholic, and to make it as long as he has in his life, he must have had some sort of peace in his life. CM Without that morsel of peace, I don't think Mr. Carton would be around anymore. CS The main characters' lives are pretty difficult as it is, and if they didn't have peace within themselves, their lives would be a lot harder.



TS To achieve global peace - obtain it in every continent, country, state, city, and even every town - we must first achieve peace within ourselves if we wish to lead a tranquil, untroubled life.(verb appositive) SD To achieve that inner peace though, we must accept who we are and that we can do nothing to change that. CM To go around hating yourself and wishing you were someone else, will make your life very unnecessarily difficult and unpleasant. CS If everyone learned to obtain peace within themselves just as the characters in A Tale of Two Cities and the woman in A Rainy Morning did, then maybe, just maybe, we would be able to pull off the bigger picture of peace.

Self Assessment:

1)An issue that I am still working on is making sure everything is grammatically correct and that everything is coherent.
2)I think a strong point in my essay is my introductory paragraph. I think it flows nicely and the point that I want to make gets across.
3)A weak point in my essay is my first body paragraph. I feel like not everything is coherent and clear.
4)I would give myself a B+ on this essay.

Essay #6 Organizer and Essay Final Draft

Paragraph 1: Opening

Main Point or Thesis of Essay: what you see and the characters of Tale of Two Cities see when looking in a mirror
Bell word: see

Hook: mirrors are mystifying
Comment on hook: the things that people would see right off the bat.
Comment on hook: tricks that mirrors play
Thesis: mirrors can be dangerous but if you look harder you may see.

Paragraph 2: First Body

TS: what you seen in the mirror depends on many things, therefore each character will see something different
2 echo words to be used: perceive, notice

SD: Lucie sees a modest, but sophisticated girl with worry lines
CM: why she is modest
CM: why she is sophisticated (quote) and has worry lines

SD: Doctor Manette sees a quiet and a bit of unsound minded man.
CM: how he is quiet
CM: how he has a little of an unsound mind (quote)

SD: Mr. Lorry sees a business machine who is coming out of his shell
CM: how he is a very serious business man (quote)
CM: how he is coming out of his shell (quote )

CS: what you see in the mirror depends on what characteristics you have and thats why Mr. Lorry, Doctor Manette, and Lucie see very different people

Paragraph 3: Second Body

TS: what I see in the mirror depends on how I am feeling that day
2 echo words to be used: discern, detect

SD: one day I see a shy, modest young girl who is very different once you get to know her
CM: why I am shy when you first meet me
CM: what I am like when you get to know me

SD: on another day I see imperfections
CM: imperfections in how I look, how I act, and imperfections I see in myself compared with other people
CM: some days I am my own worst enemy, a hazard to myself

SD: then the next day I could feel completely different and see a confident outgoing girl staring back at me

CM: a boastful, ready for action girl looking me in the eye
CM: a girl who is not shy, timid, or modest

CS: I could wake up one morning and see a totally different girl than who I saw the day before, it all depends on how I feel

Paragraph 4: Closing

Hook: mirrors can help you understand who you really are
Echo word: get a glimpse of
Comment on hook: if you look past physical features you may see you
Comment on hook: if you look past the physical features you may see what mirrors want you to see
Re-statement: mirrors are just a worthless piece of glass but what you put in the reflection is priceless.


Simone
English 9
Mr. H. Salisich
October 19

Mist and Mirrors:
What I and The Characters of Tale of Two Cities See When Looking In A Mirror

TS Mirrors are mystifying. SD If you looked into a mirror, you would see all of the things about yourself that you disliked: that your nose is slightly crooked or that one eye is bigger than the other. SD They sometimes hide the characteristics that are actually there and make you notice imperfections that are not. CM Staring too long into the mirror can be hazardous, making you think too long about who you are and who you want to be, but if you gazed deeper into the mirror, as the characters of A Tale of Two Cities might, you would see the characteristics that make you, you.

TS What you see in the mirror depends on many different things, and that is why the characters of A Tale of Two Cities will notice different things. SD Lucie Manette sees a modest, yet sophisticated girl with worry lines carved permanently into her forehead. CM Lucie will see a modest being looking her back in the eye because she seems shy and unaware that she is beautiful. CM Since Miss Pross "spoilt Lucie", I think that it has made her a more refined, experienced young woman, always worrying for her father, keeping him sane, like a bird protects it's eggs, making sure it has food, water, warmth, love, and shelter. (subordinate cumulative sentence). On the same note, if Doctor Manette were to look in the mirror, he would perceive that he is an aged, quiet man with an unsound mind. CM Every time Monsieur Manette is mentioned in the book, he never has any dialogue and is completely silent, and although Lucie has nursed her father back to health, he still doesn't seem completely lucid like Miss Pross explains, "Sometimes he gets up in the dead of the night, and will be heard, by us overhead there, walking up and down, walking up and down, in his room." CM He is slowly remembering his past at the prison, and that is what is causing him to be unhinged. SD Furthermore, if Mr. Lorry were to look into a mirror at himself, he would see a man strictly of business, but also a man who has an imagination. CM Mr. Lorry is "[...] a man of business", who only knows, thinks, sleeps, and breathes it, but as the book is unraveling we are starting to see the other imaginative, protective side of him. CM Mr. Lorry is loosening up and coming out of his shell - something I never expected to happen. CS What you people see in the mirror depends on many things, and that is why Lucie, Doctor Manette, and Mr. Lorry all see very different, very unique people looking them back at them.

TS What I see in the mirror also depends on how I am feeling that day. SD One day I would discern a shy, modest girl who has a very hard shell, a shell that covers who I really am, a shell that covers my soft delicate personality, a shell that protects me from being hurt, a shell that is breakable however. (subordinate cumulative sentence 40+ words). CM My shy surface is confusing, but I keep a wall up so that only satisfactory and loving people can get beyond it. CM People always tell me that I am so modest; that I do not boast nor fish for compliments, something that I am proud of. SD On another day though, I would detect imperfections. CM I notice all the little things that drive me crazy - imperfections in how I look, and imperfections that I see in myself compared to other people. CM On days like that, I am my own worst enemy, a hazard to myself. SD Then the next day I could feel completely different and transformed. CM I could look in the mirror and see confident, outgoing girl staring back at me. CM I would see a boastful girl who is too big for her britches. CS I could wake up one morning and see a totally different girl than what I saw the day before looking back at me, but it all depends on how I feel.

TS Despite being bewildering, mirrors can also make you better understand what characteristics you have and what characteristics you might want to gain. SD If you look past all of the physical features you may get a glimpse of a truly remarkable person. CM If you can look past all of the things you like and dislike about your physical appearance, you just might be able to dig deep enough to see what we are really supposed to see when we look in a mirror. CS In the end, a mirror is really just a piece of glass, worthless, but what you choose to see in it is priceless.

Self Assessment:
1) An issue that I am still trying to work on is blending my quote and choosing the right ones for the chunk and sentence.
2) I think a strong point in my essay would be my second body paragraph. I feel like it flows and everything is coherent.
3) A weak point is my concluding paragraph, I feel like some of the sentences don't really relate.
4) I would give myself a B+ on this essay.

Essay #5

Simone
English 9
Mr. H. Salsich
October 12

A Zealous Family Reunion:
An Essay About The Emotions In "The Shoemaker"


TS Loosing twenty years with a loved one would be a nightmare, but Lucie Manette has to live with the ordeal everyday of her life. SD When Lucie is told that her father, who she thought was dead is actually alive, in the chapter "The Shoemaker" of A Tale of Two Cities, there are a mix of emotions. CM Emotions that run high and low, uncontrolled and flaring. CS If you found out that you could have possibly had a real family when you were younger, how would you feel?

TS In the book, Dickens portrays Lucie Manette as a anxious young adult. SD Lucie has spent that last seventeen years of her life believing that her father, Monsieur Manette, was dead. CM Since Lucie never had a real family, Mr. Lorry seems to always notice that distress is upon her face, and that maybe the lack of kin was the reason, "[...] with her eyes open and fixed upon him, and with that last expression looking as if it were carved or branded into her forehead." CM When Lucie, the withered perturbed teen, finds out that her father, who was finally released after being imprisoned in Bastile, is not actually dead and that she is going to see him, ever present worry lines fade from her forehead. (coordinate cumulative 40 word sentence) SD When Lucie and Monsieur meet, she did not run into his arms as expected; she lurked behind the doorframe - hidden. CM It was almost like she did not want her long lost father to see her just yet. CM Monsieur Manette did not seem too jovial to be having new visitors either, he just continued his work, "[...] a pair of haggard eyes had looked at the questioner, before the face had dropped again." SD After a while though, Lucie comes out from behind the door, as if ready to face her perished father. CM At first, Monsieur did not realize that Lucie was his daughter, and Lucie is trying to help him remember without directly telling him, "If you hear in my voice - I don't know that it is so, but I hope it is - if you hear in my voice any resemblance to a voice that once was sweet music to your ears, weep for it, weep for it!" CM Dickens depicted this as a very emotional and unforgettable reunion using dialogue, descriptors, and passion. CS The reuniting of Lucie and Monsieur Manette was portrayed by Dickens using many writing tools, but most of all I think he used his heart.

TS I cannot even begin to imagine the mix of emotions Lucie had brewing up inside when she heard that her father, who she thought was dead, was actually alive. SD If I were even to begin to consider the amount of joy I would be experiencing if I were in Lucie's shoes, I would be overwhelmed. CM To be lucky enough to be reunited with someone you had been dreaming about for so long would be unbelievable. CM I would be so happy to know that I now would have someone to love, and someone to love me. SD Although, at first I would be a little reluctant. CM I probably would have thoughts racing through my mind like, is this person really my relative? What if it's an imposter? And so many more. CM I would feel shy and timid just as I would meeting any other person for the first time. SD After a while I would settle down and really think about what had just happened. CM Sorrow would wash over me like waves splashing up onto the dry beach, crashing down heavily on the sand that is now wet, knocking out anything and everything in its path, taking over completely and leaving no evidence that joy ever even existed (coordinate cumulative 40 word sentence). CM I would feel as if twenty years with this person was stolen from me and I would never be able to regain them, but in the end I would have to remember that the past is the past and move on towards my bright future with my relative. CS This circumstance seems inconceivable, but I know that if it did actually happen I would feel a mixture of emotions, but most of all I would be overjoyed.

TS The chapter "The Shoemaker" is an emotional roller coaster for most of the characters in it. SD The chapter portrays so many emotions that you could not even fathom unless it was really happening to you. CM Happiness, sadness, eagerness, and many more are all presented. CS Imagine being reunited with your father who you thought was dead for the past twenty years, how do you think you would react?

1. An issue that I must overcome in my writing is coherence, and making sure that all of my words and sentences fit properly where they are and make sense.

2. A weak point that I noticed in this essay is the second body paragraph. My thoughts are a bit scrambled and I could have made them a little more clear.

3. I think a strong point in my essay is my first body paragraph. I think I supported each chunk well with quotes that fit what I was talking about.

4. I would give myself a B+ on this essay.

Martha's Vineyard trip

Simone
English 9
Mr. H. Salsich
October 9



A Whole New World:
Writing About The Ninth Grade Trip To Martha's VIneyard



Day 1 (10/5/10)

Martha's Vineyard is like a home away from home to me. My family and I stay here all summer long and almost every weekend in the fall and spring. Since I am usually with my family, it is strange to be here with my class and teachers. At the same time though, it is almost like I am there with my family since I am so close to my classmates and teachers. The thirteen of us are divided into three groups, and with those groups we take turns cooking dinner, cooking breakfast, and cleaning up after. To me, this experience really seems like it is going to help us bond. Even though most of us have been with each other since the first grade, this will still bring us closer as a family living under one roof. It is only the first day and I can already tell that this is going to be a great trip.

Day 2 (10/6/10)

Wind rushing forcefully through my hair,
Rain slicing through my jacket.
It is like I am in a whirlpool of wind, rain, and chill.
The cold is slashing at my wet jeans, testing them.
I want to get out of here.
Out of this cold wet forest and into the cozy hostel.
My eyes feel intruded by the wind that is causing them to water and not stop.
The sky opens up right before my dewey eyes, throwing knives of water down upon me.
Though, I keep going.
Through the rain,
Through the cold,
And through the wind, until I see the light.

Being on top of the pyramid is not as easy as it seems. Unlike the people on the bottom, you don't have to worry about people on your back, but you do have to worry about how to journey to the top. Numerous attempts show that it is not a simple process. I have to think about ever move in advance so that I do not hurt anyone, or make the whole pyramid topple over. Everyone is wavering and unsteady, but somehow I make it to the top and continue the tradition.

Day 3 (10/7/10)

I don't want this to end:
The bonding, the fun, and the new experiences.
We are all going through this together
One step at a time.
We learn together and we play together.
We live together and we laugh together.
We cry together and we discover together.
We watch the sunset together.
These people are my family and nothing will ever change that.
No matter how much longer we will be together, and how long we will be apart.
We are brothers and sisters, and this is our last year together.
This is the end of the beginning.

Today was a cool and crisp day where you walk outside and feel that shiver up your spine. We went to the Polly Hill Arboretum and took a tour though the tall oaks, the lazy willows, and the dying flowers. We wandered around trying to find inspiration for something to draw. It felt like I was Alice in wonderland walking dazedly and aimlessly through a whole new world. Then, we went to the cliffs of Aquinnah to watch the beautiful sunset from the beach. The sound of the waves crashing, the seagulls chirping, and our laughter were the only things that filled the air. We sat in the chilled damp sand and stared up in awe. The sky was a mixture of pink, orange, blue, and purple, and it was possibly the most amazing ting I have ever seen. Today was another beautiful and magnificent day.

Today seemed like a dream.
The purple sky above me smiling down.
Everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives together.
Tonight is our last night and tomorrow is our last day.
I hope we make them the best.

Essay #3

Simone

English 9

Mr. H. Salsich

September 29

Unexpected Liveliness:
An Essay On Personification

TS In my eyes, everything in the world can come alive. SD From an apple to a skyscraper, they each have different distinct personalities. CM Objects and places can absorb the ways of an animal or human and have their own characteristics and persona. CS In other words, personification: when places and objects take the roles of things that are actually living.

TS After a long day of school and sports, the warmth and comfort of my room always welcomes me with open arms. SD The moment I step into my room I instantly feel more relaxed and tranquil. CM The dark pink walls and the aroma of my incense set a very untroubled and unflustered mood. CM I can commence my homework right away without worrying about interruptions and noise. SD In my room I feel safe, like nothing can harm me when I'm in my room's warm arms, like the world cannot see or hear me, like I am secure, protected, and shielded by the body of four colored walls surrounding me. (40 word sentence) CM At night, in the dark, I feel guarded by the blanket of blackness that wraps around my shoulders. CM When I'm home alone I feel out of harm's way and not at risk. SD My room is always comfortably snug and cozy. CM At the end of a frigid and frosty day, I can go up to my room and just soak up the heat that she is providing. CM I never feel bitter and uninvited when I am in my room's heated lap. CS My room is my personal home that I love and nurture to be welcoming, comfortable and relaxing.

TS My purple handled wire coated rope is one of my best friends. SD She has been through the best times, the frustrating times, and the worst times with me. CM She goes to every competition, every performance, and every practice with me. CM Therefore, she knows how I can be: she knows that I get frustrated when I can't get a trick right away, and that one of my favorite places to be is Galveston, Texas at the USA Jump Rope National Competition. SD My rope and I are in perfect harmony with each other most of the time. CM She swings flawlessly under my feet and over my head without interruption. CM She achieves tricks effortlessly and helps me make my way to nationals each year. SD However, sometimes, like all best friends do, we get into fights. CM Most of the time they are small quarrels that consist of her loosing control and whipping me in the back of my leg; then, I usually throw her to the ground in unadulterated anger. CM These disputes only last about two minutes, but they do happen on a day-to-day basis. CS My rope is my best companion, and even though we don't always get along, I know that in the end we will always work it out and jump back into perfect harmony.

TS Everything on this earth can come alive if you believe it can. SD The object or place could turn into a girl, a boy, your best friend, or your enemy, whatever you want it to be, it can. CM Inanimate objects can be twisted into different personalities that you think they have, and personification has the power to do such. CS All you need to remember is that not everything is always what it seems.

Essay #2

English 9

Mr. H. Salsich

Simone

September 22

Puzzling People:

An Essay About Charles Dicken's Theory About Everyone Having Secrets

TS Do you remember being little and telling secrets to your best friend and making them pinky promise not to tell? SD You shared almost everything with your best friend, but then again there were those secrets that you had always kept to yourself. CM Charles Dickens, the author of Tale of Two Cities, is declaring that we all have some special secrets that we never and will never share. CS Perhaps Dickens is right and no one can ever truly know you, but if you show the hidden side of you, what happens then?

TS I don't think anybody understands that ordinary everyday people are not what they seem. SD In chapter three of A Tale of Two Cities, Dickens presents us with the idea of mystery. CM Dickens states that, "[...] every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it!", saying that we don't really know our closest family and friends and that they don't know us either. CM Mr. Dickens is basically declaring that we all have confidential information and puzzling mystifying things about us that no one but ourselves know. SD Furthermore, Dickens says that "My friend is dead, my neighbour is dead, my love, the darling of my soul, is dead." CM Many think that the mysterious writer means that these people are literally dead, but really they are just dead in his viewpoint. CM Since he does not genuinely know them, to him, they are dead and it is like they are not even there at all. CS Dickens, who is a very intricate and famous author, in my eyes, is a very opinionated person. (appositive S-V split)

TS If Charles Dickens is correct, then I think people are like puzzles (simile). SD When you get a puzzle, the first thing you do is look at the picture, which is like looking at a person for the first time. CM You either find the puzzle riveting and compelling, or you find the puzzle unexciting and dull. CM The first impression of a person is very much like a puzzle, you either want to dive into solving it, or you want to look for another puzzle to decipher. SD Puzzles are difficult to unscramble and unravel just like the layers of a person. CM The first pieces of the puzzle that fit together are like the first time you meet, but then when you start to connect more and more pieces, you are really getting to know each other. CM As additional pieces are put together you are digging further into the person's soul. SD Linking the last two pieces together is taking the final step into your relationship. CM You now completely and entirely know this person and their mysteries and secrets are no puzzle to you. CM You will never feel like you are missing a piece to the puzzle for you have seen the finished picture that looks exactly like the one on the box - your first impression. CS Puzzles are like people, enticing and mystifying, but when you start to put them together, you get the full picture.

TS Can anybody honestly and sincerely know you? SD Do you let everything show when you meet someone, or do you put up a wall and only let certain people in? CM Being guarded is something everyone does absentmindedly and in chapter three, Dickens was just magnifying that. CS Maybe he was right: no one can truly know the real you unless you put yourself on display.

Essay #1

Simone

English 9

Mr. H. Salsich

September 20

Unable To Let Go:

An Essay About a Song and a Movie That Decribe Going Back To School

TS In the summer you feel like the barbeques, the bonfires, and the fireworks will never end, but when August rolls around you get that nervous feeling itching up in your stomach because you know that summer is coming to a close. CM Going back to school in the fall is like waking up from a very long sleep. CM You just want five more minutes of summer but you know that you must get up and face the upcoming day. CS Summer feels endless and fall feels so out of reach, but summer slips through your fingers like the grains of sand at the beach, and before you know it, leaves are crunching under your feet.

TS If I had to choose a song to describe the bittersweet feeling of coming back to school in the fall, I would have to select the song "Half of my Heart" by John Mayer. SD John Mayer's song is about only being committed to something with half of your heart and not wanting to go through with it. CM In the song, he says that, "Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation, but half of my heart takes time." CM These lyrics could be interpreted many different ways, but I think that he is saying that part of him understands things but the other side of him takes time to grasp the subject. SD To me, this relates to going back to school after the summer because not all of your heart is in it. CM Part of you might want to go back because you want to see your friends or you are just bored with summer, but the other part of you wants summer to be ever present. CM One side of you knows that you should put your whole heart into everything you do, but then the other side just can't. CS Half of my heart is in going back to school, getting back into a routine, diving back into sports, but half of my heart just isn't. (base clause with two participles)

TS The movie "Going the Distance" directed by Nanette Burnstein, is about a couple who is forced to seperate, just like I am forced to go to school, but I don't want to. SD Burnstein's movie is basically about being forced to do something that you, at the time, really don't want to go through with, but know that in the long run it will get better. CM Erin (played by Drew Barrymore) and Garrett (played by Justin Long) desperately don't want to separate, but they know that it is necessary for Erin's job, and that the pain will only get better with time. CM If Erin and Garrett could do it any other way, they would, but they know they can't. SD I think that this movie hugely relates to going back to school after the summer because no one truly wants to have to go through yet another year of school, but everyone knows that it will pay off in the future. CM No one wants to give up summer, no one wants to wake up early every morning, no one wants to surrender to another year of school (parallelism). CM The discomfort of getting back into the habit of doing homework, getting up early, and going to practice everyday will eventually fade, and in time it will be like we never even had a vacation. CS Returning to school is like being separated from the one you love; you don't always want to do it but sometimes it is a necessity.

TS Fall is a bittersweet time. CM It brings cool days with brisk air, it brings school and work, and it brings the start of a very long year. CM This is why I think that the song "Half of my Heart" and the movie "Going the Distance" fit the season of fall perfectly. CS I don't want to go back to school just like Erin and Garret don't want to part, but at the same time half of my heart wants to go back to school but the other half just can't let go of summer.

Self Assessment:

1. Something I need to work on

One issue that I need to keep working on is my punctuation and deleting words that aren't necessary for the sentence.

2. One strong point:

One strong point that I see in my writing is my special effects. I think I did I nice job on parallelism and participles.

3. One possible weak point:

I think that my second body paragraph could be a weak point because it was very difficult for me to come up with a movie that fit my feelings about coming back to school in the fall.

4. The grade I would give myself:

I would give myself a B. The topic of this essay was a little difficult for me, but I think I did well on some of the key aspects of the essay.

Freestyle Writing #1

I don't know what I am supposed to do or what I am supposed to be,

But I know I have a purpose.

I mean, everyone was born with motivation, right?

Everyone else seems to know what they want to do with the rest of their lives,

Or where they want to go to high school and college,

But not me.

I don't really understand how someone could possibly have their whole life planned out ahead of them, like they were just mere puppets in this huge show of life.

It seems more important to live in the moment then to live in what hasn't even happened yet.

Then again, maybe I don't understand the game of life.

Maybe I never passed Go and received two hundred dollars.

Maybe I never got a get-out-of-jail-free-card and am just stuck here behind these metal bars.

Whatever I am meant to do will find me someday and I will welcome it with open arms,

But for right now, I am going to live in this day, this moment, this second,

And never forget it.