Essay #13

Simone

English 9

Mr. H. Salsich

January 31

Introductory Paragraph

bell word: excellence

TS: to have excellence means to show that you have greatness

SD: that you hold your head high

CM: that you know that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to

CS: in my life and TTC I think there is a sense of excellence

First Body Paragraph

echo words: distinction, superiority

TS: in TTC, many of the characters show excellence

SD: for example, Sydney Carton

CM: he is sacrificing his life, "dying for him [Darnay], and his wife and child" just when he was just beginning to turn it around

CM: he shows superiority because not many other people would do that

SD: another example would be Jarvis Lorry, the "well kept man of business"

CM: Mr. Lorry has saved Doctor Manette from Bastille, reunited him with his daughter, and taken care of them in their time of need,

CM: he is an exceptional character in TTC because he puts peoples needs before his own

SD: these are distinct characters because of their excellence

CM: they show that they are above the rest in many ways

CM: they show that the quality of their personalities are higher than others because they do not give up hope until all is "lost, utterly lost" (dickens 356)

CS: excellence is a rare and valued characteristic in people, and I believe that these characters in TTC have it

Second Body Paragraph

echo words: brilliance, preeminence

TS: excellence rings throughout the school I attend, the people whom I surround myself with, and also within me

SD: excellence is one of Pine Point's core values

CM: they strive hard to teach every student to have brilliance

CM: the students try hard to attain the excellence and satisfy the high standard

SD: my friends and family have great influence on me and the fact that they have excellence impacts me greatly

CM: they always set a good example of how people should act, the difference between good and bad, and black and white, as if things were as easy as the separation of colors, bad was as black as coal and good was "as white as the tops of the waves that broke upon the neighboring beach" (Dickens 20)

CM: they put others before themselves, sacrifice things for other people, and show preeminence

SD: therefore, I believe I have a sense of excellence

CM: the school I attend and the people who surround me have rubbed off on me

CM: I put people before myself, forgive and forget, I hold my head high

CS: I have learned that excellence is a good quality to have

Concluding Paragraph

echo word: eminence

TS: to show excellence says a lot about you

SD: it says that you care about other people and how you present yourself to other people

CM: you hold your head high and don't let the people who want to see you fall get to you

CS: having eminence shows that you care

Simone

English 9

Mr. H. Salsich

February 3

To have excellence means to show that you have greatness. It means to show that you hold your head high with confidence. To show that you know you can accomplish anything you put your mind too. In my life and A Tale of Two Cities I believe there is a sense of excellence.

In A Tale of Two Cities, many of the characters show excellence. One surprising (F.A.S.T.) example would be Sydney Carton. He is sacrificing his life, "dying for him [Darnay], and his wife and child", just when he was starting to turn things around. He shows superiorty because not many other people would do that for someone else. Another example would be Jarvis Lorry, the "well kept man of business". Mr. Lorry has saved Doctor Manette from Bastille, reunited him with his daughter, and taken care of them in their time of need. He is an exceptional character in A Tale of Two Cities because he puts other people's needs before his own. These characters are distinctive from others because of their excellence. They show that they are above the rest in many ways. They show that the qualities of their personalities are much higher than others because they do not give up hope until all is "lost, utterly lost" (Dickens 356). Excellence is an infrequent (F.A.S.T.) and vauled characteristic in people, and I believe that these characters in the novel have it.

Excellence rings throughout the halls of the school I attend, the people whom I surround myself with, and also within me. The school I attend, Pine Point has four core values, and one of them is excellence. They strive hard to teach every student to have brilliance. The students try hard to acquire (F.A.S.T.) excellence and satisfy the high standard. My friends and family have great influence on me and the fact that they have excellence has a good impact on me. They always set a good example of how people should act, the difference between good and bad, just like it was black and white, as if it were as easy as the separation of two colors, bad was as black as coal, and white was "as white as the tops of waves that broke upon the neighboring beach" (Dickens, 20)(coordinate cumulative sentence). They put others before themselves, forgo (F.A.S.T.) things for other people, and show preeminence. Therefore, I feel that I have a sense of excellence too. The school I attend, the people whom I surround myself with have rubbed off on me. I put people before myself, forgive and forget, and hold my head high. I have learned that excellence is a good quality to have and that it makes your personality shine just a little bit brighter.

To show excellence says a lot about a person's character. It says that you care about other people, and how you present yourself to those people. It says that you hold your head high and don't let the people who want to see you fall get to you. Having emminence makes you distinct from others, makes you feel like you can accomplish many things, and shows that you have the confidence to do whatever you put your mind too.

SELF-ASSESSMENT

1) I am still working on making my sentences clear and not vague. I tried to work on that in this essay.

2) I think that my first body paragraph is a strong point in this essay. I like my use of quotes and how they blend in with my sentences.

3) I think a weak point would be some of my special effects in this essay. I don't know if some of my words are apt., and if my coordinate-cumulative sentence is correct.

4) I would give myself a B+ for this essay

Essay #12

Simone

English 9

January 23

Opening Paragraph:

SD: in life, all things come to a close

CM: relationships, time, eras all reach an end

CM: no matter if I want the circle to close or not, it still does

CS: in my life and in TTC, things come around in a circle

bell word: end

First Body Paragraph:

echo words: terminate, finale

TS: as we near the end of TTC, Dickens must tie up loose ends and bring things together

SD: he must terminate long lasting lives

CM: for example, Mr. Lorry has had a long life and his circle is making its last curve

CM: and "[...] what a place [he] fill[s] [...] many people will miss [him] when [he] leave[s] it empty", but his circle must come to a close

SD: Dickens must bring an end to all of the lingering echoes

CM: must finish all of the characters individual stories

CM: must have a finale for the book

SD: must bring an end to the suspense

CM: over what is going to happen to Darnay

CM: whether his circle will be left uncompleted or if he will live to finish it off

CS: tying up loose ends is important to keeping the book in a full circle

Second Body Paragraph:

echo words: close, finish

TS: the circle of my time at Pine Point is coming to a close

SD: my circle started in the kindergarten

CM: rounded at fifth grade

CM: now I am holding onto the last few curved lines that will eventually complete my circle

SD: as I nearly finish, I reflect

CM: reflect on all of the good things and the bad things that have made my circle a whole

CM: without them my circle would just be just an empty ring unfilled with passion

SD: I do not want to let go of my circle just yet, but I feel a sense of accomplishment

CM: I have almost completed a circle that has been nine years in the making

CM: however, when I do complete that circle I will keep it forever

CS: soon my circle will be completed and soon I will begin a new one, thats just the way life is

Concluding Paragraph:

echo word: conclusion

SD: some circles take longer than others to complete, but in the end, every circle comes to an end

CM: sooner or later we will have to let go

CM: whether it be a circle that was rounding itself for nine years or a whole lifetime

CS: TTC circle and the current circle in my life with soon come to a close

Simone

English 9

January 27

Going Round and Round:

An Essay About A Tale Of Two Cities and My Life

TS In life, all good and bad things must come to an end. SD Relationships, time, lives all eventually come to a close. CM No matter if you want the circle to come around or not, it still does. CS In my life and in A Tale of Two Cities relationships end, time runs out, and lives are lived to the fullest until the two ends of the circle meet.

TS As we near the end of A Tale Of Two Cities, Dickens must tie up loose ends and bring things together. SD He must terminate long lasting lives that have been existent since the beginning of the novel. CM For example, Mr. Lorry has had a long life and his circle will soon be making it's last curve. CM Mr. Lorry was first introduced as a kind man who was friends with everyone, and, "[...] what a place [he] fill[s] [...] many people will miss [him] when [he] leave[s] it empty", a place that used to be filled by a well groomed, well dressed man who stated himself to be strictly of business (coordinate-cumulative sentence). SD Dickens must also bring an end to all of the echoes that are still abiding( F.A.S.T.) throughout the pages. CM He must finish all of the individual character's stories about their individual lives, their individual families, their individual persona(F.A.S.T.). CM Most importantly though, Dickens must have a finale for this story. SD Lastly, Dickens must bring an end to all of the suspense that has built up since the beginning of the book. CM He must bring an end to the suspense of what is going to happen to Charles Darnay, will he be saved from La Guillotine or is there "no real hope" for him and will he "perish". CM Will Darnay's circle be left uncompleted or will he live to make it come round? CS Tying up loose ends is important to keeping a book on its track to make sure it goes around in a full circle.

TS The circle of my time at Pine Point will soon come to a close. SD My long circle started in kindergarten, and if I only knew how long it would go around and round, I think I would have appreciated my time more. CM My circle came to a half point in fifth grade and my time was half way done, and I didn't even know it. CM Now I am holding onto the last few curved lines that will eventually complete my circle. SD As I am nearly finished, I reflect on the years. CM I reflect on all the good things and bad things that have made me my circle a whole. CM Even though some things in my circle have been inferior (F.A.S.T.), without them my circle would just be a completely empty, dull, flawless ring, alway perfect, always right, always exemplary(F.A.S.T.), always boring, never disappointing, fun, and definitely never exciting or compelling (coordinate-cumulative sentence). SD I do not want to let go of my circle just yet, but it does bring me a sense of accomplishment. CM I have almost completed a circle that is nine years in the making. CM Even though I will be moving on and letting go next year, I will forever keep this circle. CS Soon my circle will close, and I will begin a new one, that's just the way life is.

SD Some circles take longer than others to complete, but in the end, every circle will come to it's conclusion. CM Sooner or later we will have to let go. CM Whether it be a circle that was rounding itself for nine years, or a whole lifetime. CS The circle of A Tale of Two Cities and the current circle of my life will soon come to an end, but until that time I will hold on until the last curve.

SELF-ASSESSMENT:

1) I think that I still need to work on making my sentences longer. Some of them are long, but the many of them are short, and I think more of them need to be long and rhythmical.

2) I really like my second body paragraph. I like the sentences and the words I use within them.

3) I would say that a weak point in this essay would be my first body paragraph. I don't know if it flows as well as I wanted it to.

4) I would give myself a B on this essay.