Essay #9

Simone

English 9

Mr. H. Salsich

November 30

Mending A Man:

An Essay On A Tale Of Two Cities' Sydney Carton

Opening Paragraph:

SD: in TTC, Carton is a portrayed as a depressed man

Comment on Hook: alcoholic who pines away for Lucie, who is married

Comment on Hook: he is a self pitying man who believe that no on cares for him

CS: Carton seems beyond repair, but there might still be hope for him

bell word: pity

First Body Paragraph:

echo words: commiseration, compassion

TS: Sydney Carton is a depressed, drunk man

SD: Carton feels like he is a "useless piece of furniture, tolerated for its old service, and taken no notice of.", but nobody actually thinks that

CM: no one actually dislikes Carton as much as he thinks people do, he is just has so much self commiseration

CM: he is just feeling sorrowful for himself for no reason, because his life isn't actually that bad

SD: he believes that no body likes him because he always put second by Stryver

CM: Stryver "shoulders his way through life" while Carton, who "would never be a lion", trails not far behind

CM put down everyday by Stryer who believes that "[his] way is, and always was, a lame way."

SD: Carton is also depressed because the girl he pines for, Lucie is also loved by Stryver

CM: even though Carton professed his love for her first, Stryver still tries to steel her from Carton

CM: Stryver goes as far as talking to Mr. Lorry about marrying

CS: I think that Stryver is the reason that Carton has so much self compassion and feels as if "[...] no man of earth cares for [him]"

Second Body Paragraph:

bell words: condolence, sorrow

TS: Carton seems beyond repair, drowned in his own self condolence, but I have faith that I could help him through his depression

SD: I would tell him that he cannot dwell on the past

CM: he is still in love with Lucie even though she does not love him back and she is happily married

CM: dwelling on things that happened long ago makes it difficult for him to move forward

SD: I would also tell him that alcohol is not the solution to his pain

CM: drinking bumper after bumper is not good, after making you feel better for a short period of time, it makes you feel even worse

CM: getting drunk every time he encounters a problem is a recipe for disaster

SD: lastly, I would tell him to be rid himself of negative influences, such as Stryver

CM: Stryver is always putting him down and putting him second, he does not feel sorrowful for Carton if he has a problem, nor does he help him through it

CM: you should never tolerate being put second by the people that you put first

CS: by taking my advice, I believe Carton could turn his life around

Concluding Paragraph:

echo word: sympathy

SD: Carton, a depressed alcoholic, could turn his life around

Comment on Hook: he could strip himself of his sympathy by getting over Lucie, and no longer tolerating Stryver's harsh words

Comment on Hook: his life doesn't have to be that way

CS: miserable, intoxicated Carton could have a better life

Simone

English 9

Mr. H. Salsich

December 5

TS In the book A Tale of Two Cities, Sydney Carton is portrayed as a depressed man. SD He is an alcoholic pining only for Lucie, who is happily married to Charles Darnay, Carton's peer. CM He is a self-pitying man who believes that no man cares for him. CS Carton seems beyond repair, but I think there might still be hope for him.

TS Sydney Carton is a pitiful and sorry and sad and depressed drunk (polysyndeton). SD He thinks that he is a "useless piece of furniture, tolerated for its old service, and taken no notice of", but nobody actually thinks that of him. CM No one in the book actually dislikes Carton as much as he surmises (F.A.S.T.), he just has so much self commiseration that he feels like people don't want him around. CM He is just feeling sorrowful for himself for no reason because if he opened his eyes, his life isn't actually that bad. SD He believes that nobody likes him because he is always put second by Stryver. CM Stryver "shoulders his way through life" while Carton, who "would never be a lion", trails not far behind. CM He is put down day after day by damaging (alliteration) Stryer who believes that "[his] way is, and always was, a lame way." SD Sydney is also disconsolate (F.A.S.T) because the girl he pines for, Lucie, is also loved by Stryver. CM Even though Carton professed his passion for her primarily (alliteration), Stryver still tries to steel her from Carton. CM Mr. Stryver even goes to Tellson's, a place of sheer business, a place where the people are prim and the atmosphere is proper, to speak to Mr. Lorry about marrying her. (appositive) CS I believe that Mr. Strvyer, who is supposed to be Carton's friend, is the reason why Sydney feels so much self compassion and feels as if "[...] no man on earth cares for [him]".

TS Carton seems beyond repair, drowned in his own self condolence, but I have faith that I could help him through his depression. SD The first thing I would tell him to do to jump start his journey (alliteration) to convalescence (F.A.S.T) would be that he cannot dwell on the past. CM He is still in love with Lucie even though she does not love him back and she is gaily (F.A.S.T) married. CM Dwelling on things that have come and gone makes it hard for people to move forward. SD I would also tell him that alcohol is not the solution to his problems. CM Drinking bumper after bumper is bad (alliteration), after making you feel better for a short period of time, it makes you feel even worse than when you did when you started drinking. CM Carton just gives up and gets drunk every time he encounters a problem, and that is a recipe for disaster, always giving up, never trying to solve the complication, making his body more tolerant to alcohol, allowing him to drink more and more, as if he were a bottomless pit (coordinate cumulative sentence with a simile) . SD Lastly, I would tell Sydney to be rid himself of negative influences, such as his "friend" Stryver. CM Stryver is always putting him down and putting him second, he does not feel sorrowful for Carton if he has a problem, nor does he help him through it. CM He should never tolerate being put second by the people that he puts first, and he should never tolerate being laughed at and teased and insulted and made fun of. (polysyndeton) CS By taking my advice, I believe Carton could really turn his life around.

TS Carton, a depressed alcoholic, could possibly turn his life around. SD His life doesn't have to be the way it is now. CM He could strip himself of his self-sympathy by getting over Lucie, and no longer tolerating Stryver's harsh words. CS Miserable, intoxicated Carton could have a better life.

SELF-ASSESSMENT:

1) A strong point in my essay is the my second body paragraph. I think that the requirements flowed well within the sentences.

2) I would say a weak point in my essay is my first body paragraph. I think some of the sentences are not coherent with each other.

3) I still need to work on my punctuation and making sure that I do not have comma splices within sentences.

4) I would give myself a B+ on this essay.

Essay #8

Graphic Organizer

Main Point or Thesis of Essay: do not judge a beautiful picture by its cover, everyone and everything have hidden problems
bell word: deceive


Opening Paragraph:

Hook: the world is a beautiful "twinkling star", but every nook and cranny of it has it's own problems
Comment on Hook: even serene, romantic France has its many conflicts
Comment on Hook: "a whole world with all its greatness and littleness" is attractive on the surface, but looks can be deceiving
Thesis: just like the old saying states, "don't judge a book on its cover"

First Body Paragraph

echos: swindle, defraud

TS: "Chateau and hut" the poorest and richest parts of France go hand and hand
SD: but those stone faces guarding the chateaus are swindling because behind those resistant features are "dangling figures"
CM: if one does something wrong, one will be hanged, no discussion, nobody tries to stop it because they know that it is useless
CM: "so, sublimer intelligences may read in the feeble shining of this earth of ours" because of injustices like this that happen behind closed doors
SD: Dickens is saying that behind every defrauding good thing there is a bad thing
CM: the world has "greatness and littleness" but what we choose to do with that is up to us
CM: "a whole province of France - all France itself - lay under the night sky", the good and the bad, the poor and the rich, the deceiving and the truthful, all together as one country
CS: on the smooth surface, France is the home of greatness, but underneath it is just littleness, it is so far underneath the charming surface that only the "sublimer intelligence" can sense it

Second Body Paragraph

echoes: outwit, delude

TS: just as all the "twinkling stars" in this world deal with their own problems, so do I
SD: I am a "twinkling star" just trying to make it in this huge galaxy
CM: I started out dim, but every time I overcome a problem, I get a little brighter
CM: I may look as bright as a star but my shining is sometimes outwitting for I have many problems just like everyone else
SD: I, as a person, definitely have "greatness and littleness"
CM: I have somethings about me that are good, and things that are bad, but I try to keep a deluding front so that no one would know the littleness about me
CM: everyone does and nobodies perfect
CS: Your light may seem dim, but it is getting brighter everyday

Concluding Paragraph

Hook: the world is bright, but there are many things about it that are dim
Comment on Hook: everything in this in this world has its problems, even if that seems impossible
Comment on Hook: every place in the world has its "greatness and littleness" we just need to learn to look past the littleness
Re-Statement of Thesis: no matter what or who you are looking at, you can never judge them without truly knowing what is going on inside them

Simone
Mr. H. Salsich
English 9
November 18

"Greatness and Littleness" In Everyone And Everything:

An Essay About A Tale Of Two Cities And My Life

TS The world is a beautiful "twinkling star", but inside every nook and cranny there is some kind of problem. SD Even serene, romantic France has many conflicts. CM "A whole world with all its greatness and littleness" is attractive on the surface, but looks can be deceiving. CS The same old saying, "don't judge a book by it's cover" applies to France and the "twinkling star" that we call our home.

TS "Chateau and hut", rich and poor, two opposites that strangely go hand in hand in A Tale of Two Cities' France, a beguile place with a shining exterior (appositive). SD Everything looks perfect on the surface, but those stone faces guarding the chateaus are swindling because behind those resistant features are "dangling figures". CM If one does something wrong, one will be hanged, no questions asked, and no one will try to stop it because they know that their poor voices have to significance in their rich government. CM "[...] so, sublimer intelligence may read in the feeble shinging of this earth of ours" because of injustices like extraneous (F.A.S.T) hangings. SD In this paragraph, Dickens is saying that with every defrauding good, attractive, admirable thing in this world, there is a bad, abominable (F.A.S.T), side to it. CM The world and France particularly have "greatness and littleness" that go accordingly with each other, but which we choose to see is up to our perception. CM "A whole province of France - all France itself - lay under the night sky", the good and the bad, the poor and the rich, the deceiving and the truthful, all together as one country. CS On the smooth surface, France is the home to greatness, but underneath it is just littleness, it is so far underneath the charming surface that only "sublimer intelligences" can sense it.

TS Just as all "twinkling stars" deal with their own problems, I deal with great difficulty in my life as well. SD I am a "twinkling star" just trying to make my way in this huge galaxy. CM I started out dim, but every time I overcome a problem, I get a little bit brighter. CM I may look as dazzling (F.A.S.T.) as the North Star, but my shining is sometimes outwitting because I have many problems just like anyone else. SD I, as a person, definitely have "greatness and littleness", shining in some areas, but lacking in others, subsequent (F.A.S.T) at one thing, but failing at another, constantly developing new imperfections and new strengths (coordinate cumulative sentence). CM I have some things about me that are good, and things that are bad, but I try to keep a deluding front so that no one would see the things that cause me to have "littleness". CM The thing that keeps me going though, is the fact that everyone has littleness and I'm not the only one with flaws. CS Today your light may shine softly, but tomorrow it could be more luminous than ever.

TS The world is bright, but there are many dim things about it. SD Everything and everyone in this world has some kind of problem or quarrel, even if that seems impossible. CM Every place in this world has it's "greatness and littleness", we just need to learn to look past the littleness. CS No matter what or who you are looking at, you can never judge the book by it's cover because in most cases, the cover is misleading.

Self-Assessment:

1) An issue that I am still working is weeding in my sentences. I am still trying to take out every unnecessary word.

2) I think a strong point in this essay is concluding paragraph. I think it just wraps up my essay very nicely.

3) A weak point in my essay is my first body paragraph. It was difficult for me to portray what Dickens was trying to say in that paragraph.

4) I would give myself a B+ on this essay.

Essay #7 Final Draft

Graphic Organizer
Novemer 2, 2010


Opening Paragraph:

Hook: everyone wants to achieve peace, but peace is very difficult to achieve
Comment on Hook: everyone wants the unoriginal world peace, end of war
Comment on Hook: no one thinks about the other types of peace there are
Thesis: we must all learn to be at peace with ourselves.

First Body Paragraph



TS: in A Rainy Morning, the woman must be at peace with herself
SD: she is in a wheelchair and she must have learned long ago to accept the fact that she would never walk again and become peaceful with the new her.
CM: if she was not at peace with herself she would be forever cursing whatever put her into the wheelchair, not focusing on what really matters in life
CM: she would be wasting her life away (use appositive)
SD: to play her instrument (wheel chair), the woman must have internal peace.
CM: to stay calm while strumming the wheels and intertwining her fingers in the spokes takes a lot of patience and strength
CM: to "push herself through the morning" the day, and the evening requires peace of mind and peace of body
CS: this young woman peacefully in the rain, has obtained peace within herself because she has realized that you do not need anything extra to be happy

Second Body Paragraph:

TS: in A Tale of Two Cities, each of the characters must be at peace with themselves to face their everyday life
SD: Lucie Manette must have peace to take care of others and never herself (use appositive)
CM: ever since they found Doctor, she has been taking care of him
CM: without peace, Lucie would have a difficult time dealing with her own life let alone her father's too. (talk about suitors)
SD: Mr. Lorry, a man of business, must have mental peace to be able to deal with the stress of Tellson's, and also the stress of going from total business mode to affectionate family man
CM:as soon as Mr. Lorry met the Manettes, he became a part of their family in some sort
CM: he switches between a peaceful quiet man, to an emotional imaginative but still peaceful man
SD: Mr. Carton on the other hand, must have peace to get through every single rough day
CM: he is a depressed alcoholic, and to make it as long as he did in his life, he must of had some sort of peace in his life
CM: without peace he wouldn't be here
CS: their lives are pretty difficult as it is, and not having peace with themselves and each other would make it a lot harder

Closing Paragraph:

Hook: we must all achieve peace with ourselves if we wish to lead a happy, untroubled life
Comment on Hook: to achieve peace we must accept who we are and accept that we cannot ever change who we are
Comment on Hook: to go around and hate yourself and wish you were somebody else will make your life very difficult and unpleasant
Re-statement: everyone must learn to obtain peace with themselves or else we cannot obtain the bigger unoriginal picture of peace


Simone
English 9
Mr. H. Salsich
November 3, 2010
"All I Want Is World Peace":
An Essay About Peace In Various Aspects

TS Everyone wants to achieve peace, but they do not realize how difficult it really is to obtain. SD Everyone wants the conventional world peace and end of war just like the pageant contestants say convincingly to the judges, but no one ever thinks about the other types of peace. CM Everyone misjudges peace as the absence of war and disturbance, or being tranquil and quiet, but if you really wanted to come into the possession of peace, then you would see past that dictionary definition. CS To attain peace, you must have peace in yourself.



TS In the poem "A Rainy Morning" by Ted Kooser, the sentences, the phrases, the words all portray a peaceful young handicapped woman (compound subject sentence). SD Having the obstacle of being in a wheel chair hanging over her head, she must have realized long ago that she had to accept the fact that she might never walk again and become at peace with her transformed self. CM However, if she did not decide to accept her altered body, she would be forever cursing whatever put her into the wheelchair and not focusing on what really matters in life. CM She would be wasting away her life, a thing to cherish and spend wisely, a thing that you can never get back once you've lost it, and never regain the years that you've spent ungrateful. (appositive) SD To play her instrument, the wheelchair, the woman must have internal peace. CM To be able to stay calm while "striking at the wheels" and intertwining her fingers in the spokes takes a lot of patience and strength. CM To "push herself through the morning", the day, and the evening requires peace of mind as well as peace of body. CS This young woman sitting peacefully in her wheelchair observing the rain has obtained peace within herself because she, unlike many people, has realized that you do not need anything extra to live a peaceful life.



TS In A Tale of Two Cities, the main characters' daily lives are so frenetic (F.A.S.T. word) that it seems they would need inner peace just to stay sane. SD For example, Lucie Manette, a "golden-haired doll" with misty blue eyes and creases on her forehead, a girl who thought she had no family, has to have some peace of mind to be able to only think of others and never herself. (appositive) CM Since Lucie found her father in St. Antoine -brought to him by Mr. Lorry after thinking he was dead for so many years - she has had to nurse him back to health without the help of others.(verb appositive) CM Without peace, Lucie would never be able to take care of her father, let alone herself. SD For Mr. Lorry, peace is a necessity so that he can deal with the stress of Tellson's and then the stress of going from businessman to a family man with the Manette's. CM As soon as Mr. Lorry met Lucie, he took on the roll as a protective older brother to her, and with that comes responsibilities. CM Mr. Lorry protects Lucie from harm, always on the watch for rude, offensive, and disrespectful people that would make Lucie upset, like a night guard at a museum. (cumulative sentence with a simile) SD Mr. Carton, on the other hand, must have peace to get through every rough day of his piteous (F.A.S.T. word) life. CM He is a depressed alcoholic, and to make it as long as he has in his life, he must have had some sort of peace in his life. CM Without that morsel of peace, I don't think Mr. Carton would be around anymore. CS The main characters' lives are pretty difficult as it is, and if they didn't have peace within themselves, their lives would be a lot harder.



TS To achieve global peace - obtain it in every continent, country, state, city, and even every town - we must first achieve peace within ourselves if we wish to lead a tranquil, untroubled life.(verb appositive) SD To achieve that inner peace though, we must accept who we are and that we can do nothing to change that. CM To go around hating yourself and wishing you were someone else, will make your life very unnecessarily difficult and unpleasant. CS If everyone learned to obtain peace within themselves just as the characters in A Tale of Two Cities and the woman in A Rainy Morning did, then maybe, just maybe, we would be able to pull off the bigger picture of peace.

Self Assessment:

1)An issue that I am still working on is making sure everything is grammatically correct and that everything is coherent.
2)I think a strong point in my essay is my introductory paragraph. I think it flows nicely and the point that I want to make gets across.
3)A weak point in my essay is my first body paragraph. I feel like not everything is coherent and clear.
4)I would give myself a B+ on this essay.